First…Do no harm

Funny, this is the one thing we teach healthcare students all the time and yet it seems much more difficult to practice. The truth is, my life has been that path toward trying really hard not to cause harm to any one. Call it avoidance or dissociation or whatever else. It is the one thing I seem to avoid as much as I possibly can. And the sad part is, I end up causing harm to the people I most care about. It is no wonder I have this fantasy of myself living in a remotest area by myself watching the stars and drinking tea.  Because there, I will not be able to cause harm. I wonder if, in life, it is just not possible to avoid harm. Not because one intends to make life difficult for others but just because we are human and we live our lives trying to the best of our ability while at the same time having our own frailty, our wants, and needs, and dreams, and longings, and ideas about life. It causes me deep grief to come to this realization. There is always that hope as well, the belief that people are able to handle harm, there is that inner resouces in others, inner strength and courage and they move on pretty well. May be it is about first be human, learn from your mistakes, and minimize harms. I’m not sure…I just know that it pains me when that happens and I know that no matter how hard I try, it will still happen and in my humaniaty, I have to learn to live with, learn from, minimize, and trust that people are strong and they have beautiful souls and they gravitate toward meaningful life even in the midst of hurts and pain. I keep thinking about a friendly reminder…”stop apologizing.”

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