Archive for January, 2010

I was standing at the back yard of my new home.  There was no grass except for the red dirt.  The house was sitting at a corner on a hill.  From where I was standing I could see a beautiful green valley ahead.  As I looked more carefully there appeared to be a small pond at the corner of the yard.  I walked toward the pond to take a closer look and saw beautiful brown birds standing in the pond.  The birds appeared rounded.  They were cute, I thought.  And then my gray tabby (Java) appeared walking slowly toward one of the birds.  While the rest of the birds flew away, this one bird just stood there un-threaten by the sight of this cat.  And before Java could get to the bird, the bird actually attacked Java grabbing Java by the neck with her mouth and refused to let go.  I jumped in to rescue my cat and try to pull them apart.  Suddenly the cat turned into a gray snake and the bird turned into a rooster.  I tried to separate them in so many different ways but I just could not.  And I knew that my cat was dying.  I felt helpless.

I woke up feeling rather depressed and I knew it has to do with my dream.  What it meant was something I could not figure out.  Around 10:30 in the morning I had a meeting with my colleagues.  Before the meeting started, I told my friend about this dream and how depressing it was and how I could not figure what it was.  She pointed out that perhaps it has to do with conflicts of some sort because that’s what it seems to represent.  After lunch I went to the restroom.  While resting at the restroom the symbolism of the dream in relation to my friend’s comment became clearer.  First it has to do with my natural tendency toward pessimism of generating conflicts out of something good and beautiful (turning the beautiful birds in a pond into conflicting complex).  The second has to do with symbolism from the animals.  I think there’s something very archetypal about snake and to me it represents the primal self.  The rooster represents structure, order, and that which is normative.  At some level the journey toward spontaneity is met with conflict of the Id and superego, of the self struggling toward that which is normative while at the same time recognizing the importance of the primal, of the need to be in touch with the primal self.  Some how I have not quite navigate myself through this terrain well enough so that balance emerges.  I’m reminded of the labyrinth and the circular journey one may have to walk through trusting that God will lead toward that integration of the self.

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