Archive for August, 2011

Depression is a constant factor in my life. I’ve learned to cope with it for a while now and sometime it is hard to identify because it has become so much a part of me and my daily functioning. Lately  I have observed in myself the feeling of negativity. This is not new but it is nice to identify and become more aware of. Negativity negates. And it is often there at every point. I used to think that the experience of negativity such as guilt appears when I’m experiencing conflict within my life. I realize that with or without any experience, negative emotion remains. It is not all that bad it is just there. For example, I could experience guilt when I over ate and I would associate the sense of guilt with this act. However, even when I eat regular, the feeling remains. It is just there.  Any type of conflicting experience can cause such exaggeration in terms of guilt or negative feeling.  To regulate this I have come to the place where I have to be ok with the negative feeling within myself (which is not all that strong…it is just there).  And move on with things in life instead of being obsessed with trying to get rid of this feeling. Learning to live with isn’t easy but it does help and put perspectives into life. At least I know that the feeling (for example guilt) may be there even when I have not done anything deserving of such feelings.

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