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Archive for July, 2012

A destiny is a circular path that leads back to the primal self. The only difference

after the long arduousand painful years is the primal that is self-aware,

the primal that no longer maintains its naiveté. A number of years

ago a friend with whom we collaborated in preparing for our dissertations told me

her life story. She grew up in a religious home and was sexually abused by her

pastor. The trauma was damaging in so many different levels. Beside the

psychological trauma, it threw her into the state of chaos at the transcendental

level. After many long years of therapy she started to regain her sense of self.

A ritual she performed on a regular basis was to break a mug and

then slowly pieced them together. The symbolismof her ritual is profound in

so many different levels.

We grow up in a society where our primal self has to be

fragmented because pieces of us do not fit into various norms and slowly as we

try to find worth and value within the society we are raised in, our community,

we slowly give away pieces of ourselves. Until one day we become a functional

success at the expense of our very soul. However the soul is a force to be reckon

with. It has its own mechanism and when it is broken, it will find ways to regenerate

itself. Our task is to listen. The return to the primalhas lost its naiveté. We find

ourselves only this time we know enough what to withhold, what to share,

what to express,what to restrain and at interval time,

we reach deep into the depth of our soul for nourishment and sustenance.

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The linear path to life is one of upward mobility, of stable family, good jobs, established security, well thought out plan, nice reputation and recognition. My life and perhaps those who share similar journey may find that linear is not within the path nor is it upward mobility. The walk is fragmented and fragile breaking into pieces and one juggles to hold them together. One wonders isn’t it suppose to be the other way round after long struggle through life’s bruises and scars. Isn’t things supposed to get better and lower places slowly diminishes their space within our path?

But lows happen. It seems that lows become lows because of gravity. Without gravity there’s only spaces and there are no hierarchy in these spaces. Gravity, it seems to me, is socio-political. Gravity happens because we assign high values to certain categories in our psycho-social life. Gravity happens because we give so much values to certain dimension and as a result it becomes really heavy. Gravity dictates gravitation and where there’s gravitation there are only high or low places.

Lows are a part of the soul’s journey. Lows do not make you low. Lows make you if you allowed yourself to be made by these lows in our lives. Perhaps one needs to learn to find place that defies gravity and remain in this space in between.

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This is beautiful. Something to ponder and reflect upon.

 

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