I have written quite a bit about dreams. But you can’t dream when you can’t sleep. Since young age, sleeping was never easy for me. When I was in kindergarden, we were forced to take a nap during lunch breaks. There was this young guy walking around with a stick and if we did not sleep, he would beat us and he would say, faking sleeping is not acceptable. I remember thinking, if you can’t sleep, you just can’t sleep and how can any one force us to sleep and then spank us if we faked sleeping? Well that was quite a philosophical question. Growing up it has become apart of me. It would normally take me a pretty long time to finally fall asleep. At the least half an hour but mostly more. I would try telling myself, you do not have to fall asleep. You just have to rest. Then there is always the fear that if I did not sleep enough I would not be able to function the following day or that we all need so many hours of sleep and anything less would have such an impact on one’s daily operation. Well, I find out that I can actually function with four hours of sleep. Not too many consequetive days though. I also know that it does run in my family as well. My dad struggled with insomenia as far as I can remember. My sister struggles with insomenia as well. In the past one month or so strange thing happened that worsen my insomnia. I can’t find any explanation. I would go to bed around mid night or one am. Then at two or three am I would get up and remain away till four or five in the morning or some day six am. This quarter is even more of a challenge because I have an eight am class. Last week I had a bunch of nutrition students in my class so I took the advantage of findingout. But could not gather much information except, try melatonin. I find banana is kind of good to me. Dark chocolates, so I learn it will prevent you from sleeping if you have insomnia. So if I have any craving for chocolate, it will be in the morning or before noon. I suppose the other factor is when you have too manything running in your head, it is hard to quiet the voice enough enough so the mind can rest. I also learn to be productive when one can’t sleep like….ironing my clothes or writing a blog when you are awake. On a site note, it is perhaps the reason why I remember my dreams. I often awaken during ram sleep.
So for those of you out there with insomnia who remain awake in the odd hours of the night, if you know a cure, do share. But perhaps not because if you are cured, you will not be awake in the middle of the night.
The Sacred and the Space in Between 