Defining Spirituality

Every so often I change my definition and understanding of spirituality.  How does one define spirituality?  There are numerous attempts out there but perhaps the most meaningful will have to be one that speaks most meaningfully to us or one that we are able to arrive at its definition through our life experiences.  I used to define spirituality as the search for meaning in relation to Divine Transcendence.  I still hold on to this definitioin but lately there emerge other dimensions that makes me rethink my understanding of spirituality.  While preparing to teach spirituality and mental health to mostly graduate psychology and marriage and family students, I came to the conclusion that perhaps spirituality is what happens to us when we come to realize that life is sacred.  By naming life as sacred, I mean its value is inherent in being itself.  It does not need external validation to be sacred.  Sacredness is what it is in itself.  And spirituality is that place when we come to realize deep within our soul that life is sacred.  While attending a conference at the University of Adelaide I had the priviledge of hanging out with and listening to Ken Pargament for about a week.  The one emphasis that he made constantly was that for spirituality to be true to itself, it needs to reclaim the sacred otherwise it may remain just another good social science practice.  I personally think thereare numerous significant implications  to the view that life is sacred.

Faith

There are many occasions in the gospel where Jesus affirmed the need for faith and praised those who have faith even in the unseen.  I personally want to see and touch and feel. And this call for faith is certainly a very difficult invitation. How long must one hang on to faith when we can’t see things happening? How long should we hold on to faith when nothing seems to take place, when the land is barren and the fruits do not seem to yield?  Yet in the book of Hebrew faith is that element of things not seen. 

 

How long will you continue to push and support and give and help and hope when that which you work for seem to bear no fruits?  How long will you continue to offer and advise and pray and beg and love and encourage when the nothing seems to change?  Will there be a time when you just feel so exhausted and discouraged, when you experience doubt, when you find it difficult to hang on to hope and move on?  Faith seems to suggest believing that something is happening and that which happened may be invisible to the eyes.  Faith seems to suggest that God is working and supporting and helping even when we witness no apparent changes.  Faith is just hard.  It almost requires that we give and continue to give only in faith holding so deeply to hope in that which cannot be seen.  Faith asks us to act and continue to act when the visible seems unchanged but to believe that things happen beyond what we can witness.  It is that calling to be that witness to the unseen that is happening and do not give up.  Hold on.  Faith is hard. In Bhagavat Gita Krishna gave similar advise to Arjuna.  We can only hold on to dharma through our action.  Let’s leave the fruits to the tree.

Depression, Spirituality, and the Quest for the Holy Grail

I just returned from Society for Pastoral Theology annual meeting.  The last night of the meeting I had dinner with three very good friends discussing spirituality and health.  As theologians we all felt that often the discussion regarding spirituality and health have been dominated by social scientists (although great, there’s often something lacking).  The discourse is often, good faith brings about good health.  One of my colleagues mentioned that she was going through unexplicable pain and it went on and on and on.  After much prayer and meditation she came to the conclusion that she needed faith to move on with her life even in the experience of pain itself.  I became very excited listening to her because not long before I have had an interesting revelation about myself and my life.  I have struggled with low grade depression all my life.  And at some level there’s this sense that there will always be a level of emptiness and loneliness as a part of me.  No matter what I do and how fulfill life can be, that emptiness will always remain.  I came to the realization through my prayer that perhaps it is all about realizing that life sucks and yet one has to move on. Life sucks and will always be, atleast for me.  Not that there’s nothing fulfilling and good and wonderful.  There are but a sense of emptiness is often present.  It is like Kierkegaard and his awareness that melancholia was his calling that finally liberated him from major depression.  It is time to move on and live with the level of emptiness.  It is time to do something more beneficial and accommodate the fact that life is never apart from tribulation.  By moving on to a greater level of spirituality I am thinking about the Holy Grail.  For those of us who love Da Vinci Code, this grail represents the feminine.  Perhaps that longing the feminine through the touch of compassion, those words of encouragement, “the look of love.”  All these qualities are that which give us strength to move on.  In the conclusion to the book “He” by Robert Johnson where the author reflected on the mythological figure of the Fisher King.  The knight upon entering the castle and locating the Holy Grail has only one question that has to be answered.  And the question is, to whom does the Grail serve?  And the answer is, the king himself.  Johnson concluded that in life the one thing that really matters, that defines meaning in life is to ultimately serve God.  Reflecting on this story helps me realize that perhaps it is time to ask myself, to whom does the Grail serve?  There will always be issues and deep introspection in my life but one must finally realize that life is bigger than my life.  That one’s calling is ultimately moving beyond one’s deep introspection and engaging in tasks that serve communities, the people with whom God resides when God said, when I was weak, when I was naked, when I was imprisoned, when I was hungry…you came to me.  

This version of spirituality is rooted deeply in 2000 years of theological reflections beyond the world of social sciences.

Three Rattlesnakes in my Dream

I was in a house back in Bangkok. The first house we were staying in.  We had two sons. Around 4-5 and 10-12.  I walked to the opened garage and heard a sound.  I turned and saw a rattlesnake.  There was a long wooden stick.  I grabbed the stick and started beating the snake until it was dead and returned to the house.  But then again in a bed room which was rather dark with gray wall I noticed that there was another rattlesnake in the room itself.  Again there was a long wooden stick. I grabbed the stick and started beating the snake until this second snake died in the bedroom.  I left thinking that I should clear the bedroom. 

 

At this time my wife and I had to go out for an appointment. We were planning to leave our two sons at home.  But I had the feeling that there was still another snake in the bedroom, a rattlesnake which I kind of noticed its shadow through my peripheral vision.  I was very hesitant to go out leaving my two sons at home knowing that there might be another snake.  My elder son kind of nodded in agreement that he too noticed another snake in the house.  I walked toward the back of a house and saw my son in a semi-garage with broken-down car. He was sitting on top of the roof of the car while pouring engine oil over his body.  I asked why he did what he did and his response had something to do with coping with the snake.  He then informed that perhaps the snake was at the back of the house.  There was a very small backyard right after the kitchen.  Behind the yard was a white cement wall and an empty field behind the wall.  My son pointed the snake to me which was crawling near the kitchen door.  I look for a stick but there was just a small and short wooden stick. I tried to hit the snake but kept missing.  The snake escaped but came right back.  My son said that the snake was hidding behind  the wall.  As I walked toward the wall, he jumped off from behind the wall aiming at me but missed.  He again went to the neighbour’s yard and from their jumped toward me.  All I had was this small little stick and I was really scared.  I was scared because he was very aggressive and intended on attacking me.  The fear was so strong that I woke up with emotional intensity.  I could feel the fear in my entire body. 

 

Interpretation

This warrant a much longer interpretation and related historical context.  But I will just state the conclusion after attempting to process this dream.  There is some strong archetype meaning in this dream as if the dream is voicing its concern for things that I need to learn to intergrate into my life and my being.  When I woke up the intensed fear was related directly to the word aggression.  There’s something in my past growing up with my grandfather who was very nice and yet very aggressive.  Somehow in his presence I felt helpless.  In the context of this dream, I was trying to protect my ‘home’ or my soul and my family from any form of aggression or perceived aggression.  To me any exhibit of anger or aggression makes it impossible for a home to be safe.  And so I killed the snakes.  Two of them.  But anger and aggression are not something that I can get rid of.  They are a part of us.  And protection does not imply the lack of aggression or anger.  It is about managing it.  So the third snake appeared symbolizing both the impossibility of killing the snakes (anger)and in some ways represents archetypal function where number three speaks of development, a necessary movement.  When I started coming out of my dream I was aware at the point that the most important thing for me to do was to not run away or try to kill the snake but to face the snake.  But the fear was overwhelming and even with some awareness that this was a dream,  I was not certain if I could just remain there.  The meaning slowly unfold to me and it seems to suggest the need for me to integrate aggression/anger into my system of being.  That life will not fall apart in the presence of anger and that while anger exists, it is possible to live on meaningfully without having to kill it, without having to rid life of it in order to maintain one’s sanity and joy.

Solving the Unresolved

I once read that most of the unresolved issues we are facing has to do with the early splitting that we experienced. By splitting, they refers to the conflicts at the young age whether it be taught or experienced. This can be from growing up with a parent who has a very strong inclination toward good and evil, right and wrong as categories for measuring a person’s worth. Recently I have met a number of people who are struggling with strong emotions that they would like to get rid of. A haunting unmet desire. An unresolved feeling of loss. A relational tension that does not go away and many others. While pondering and experiencing this myself, I am reminded of the vast majority in our world who embrace the concept of reincarnation, the cycle of life that is unending. This to me seems like a projected psyche into the construction of one’s world view. It is the unending cycle of unresolved issues. And once it is resolved, the cycle does not exit. On a number of occasions I told my supervisees in pastoral counseling that revisitting an issue is certainly an important part of therapy and that resolving is not a onetime since issues have a way of attaching themselves to various dimensions of life. Hence one needs to go through the cycle again and again but each time a few more dimension may be addressed. It is also interesting, in my own experience, that we often use metaphors to help us resolve some immediate issues. And while metaphors are effective, it has its own limited time frame in terms of effectiveness. And overtime, one may have to move on creating another metaphor that can function better. But in each of this progression, there is indeed, a gradual movement toward resolving the unresolved.

Eco-Feminism and Poverty

I received an invitation from Trisha Famisaran to attend a conference on Feminism and Ecology and had the privilege of listening to a presentation by Rosemary Radford Ruether.  It made a profound impact on me as I ponder the meaning of eco-feminism.  I do not know if I got it right but it does not seem to matter at this point because the concept has allowed me to draw some meaningful conclusion about life.  It makes me think that perhaps we got it all wrong.  All these things about going out and helping the poor because we have all the knowledge and wisdom and technology.  But isn’t all these technical knowledge and the colonial logic destroying us and our world?  Aren’t we not suffering now because of our advancement and the pursuit of the rational in manipulating the world that we live in?  We have caused more damage to the world and our environment than the poor.  We have created more conflicts and caused more depression among our generation.  The poor did not cause environmental damage.  They were using buffalos and planting rice in the field and live with what they have.  They were simple.  They did not have to consume products that have to be recycled.  They were contented with their buffalos until our technology tells them that there’s something better and that they could earn more money to buy more products.  I wonder if it is the poor that we have to look up to to relearn to live our lives.  And who’s to say that they are poor if it is not our very own need to create categories.  They just live a simple life.  Because we are not simple or cannot live simple, we call them poor.  My professor, Dr. William Clement once said to me, “People like to talk about helping the poor.  For me, they poor have already helped me so much.”  What a profound wisdom.  We always think of someone like Donald Trump as a successful person.  But is this really success?  What if success is defined as a person who has the ability to live simple and live within the limit of what he or she has?

Hope and Discipline

I just  had a revelation while taking a warm shower.  Struggle with food has been an on-going fight for me.  I know I need to lose another 5 pounds at least.  Others probably think perhaps 10 or more.  But 5 pounds isn’t easy at all.  I often wonder why.  There were times I could do it and times I could not.  Food and deserts are just too good to skip.  I thought perhaps there is a need to balance between hope and discipline.  Our ability to discipline ourselves depends largely on how hopeful we are.  If I could see the light in giving up some food, I would probably do it.  If I could not, it will have a much harder time.  If I believe I can do it and 5 pounds is very achievable, it will come to me.  If I feel that it is almost impossible, I will try and try and try and will never be motivated enough to pursue it.  This sounds so simplistic but to me it is still a revelation.  5 pounds, is it half-full or half-empty?

Thai Politics: An Article Worth Reflecting Upon

No ‘people power’ crusade, this

By: ROSANA TOSITRAKUL

Published: 14/04/2009 at 12:00 AM

Newspaper section: News

At the time of writing, I have no idea how the Thai political turmoil will play out. I cannot help feeling, however, as if I were watching the same movie all over again, a repeat of the build-up to the Sept 19, 2006 coup to an unfolding anarchy, a social melee mistaken for a “people’s power” crusade.

 

Protesters force their way past soldiers through a shattered glass pane into the venue of the 14th Asean Summit in Pattaya on Saturday.

I have never agreed with the Sept 19 coup and never will. On the one hand, that political farce was an attempt to prolong the grip on power of some elite and military figures. On the other, it was a compromise with immoral capitalism from which the hideous beast of corruption had spawned and is threatening to eat up the whole Thai society.

The ludicrous coup only broke the snake’s spine. Now the wounded and vengeful serpent is returning to bite back its attackers, whom it has lumped together as Amartaya Thipatai (governance by the ruling elite or mandarins).

In the end, the half-hearted, half-baked coup ended up becoming the prisoner for democracy lovers to stone. What a pathetic end for these outdated knights on metal tanks! They should have gone back to their barracks following the May uprising in 1992.

I wonder what would have happened had there been no coup? How would Thaksin Shinawatra, the prime minister at that time, have treated the people who eventually rose up to oppose him? After all, the Oct 7, 2008-style brutal tear-gassing could have happened in his term, which had seen the cold-blooded massacre of Muslim insurgents and protesters at Krue Se and Tak Bai, as well as the blatant murder of thousands in the name of the war on drugs.

Had the Thai public been given a taste of fighting the capitalist dictator by themselves without the help of military tanks, they might have seen the true face of the political charlatan already.

But the coup-makers had an illusion that they could save the day and rolled out the tanks – they were as clueless as likay performers who believe in the make-believe grandeur – only to stumble by their own impotence, get caught by the villain, put in manacles and paraded around town as the elitist thieves who’d stolen democracy. The crook who had plundered treasure from the nation, from our state enterprises, thus managed to reinvent himself as the democratic hero, as a saint who will come down and free the masses from the chains of poverty.

 

Bangkok Senator Rosana Tositrakul.

I respect people who fight for a society of their ideals. However, the years of working in civil society movements have taught me to trust only the power of our own hands and brains. I have learned to never hope for a hero who will lift us up from scarcity and hardship overnight. For that reason, I think the man who said: “If I could become a prime minister, there would be no poor person within this year,” is more likely a demagogue than a democrat.

Isn’t this demagogue who is haunting us via video-link the same man who shamefully deceived Bangkok people that he would solve the traffic problem in six months? Isn’t he the same man who declared a war on poverty but doubled Thai people’s debt after five years of managing the country? While enriching himself to the tune of a hundred billion? Isn’t he the same man who was sued for issuing a dud cheque for one million baht 20 years ago?

Isn’t this demagogue the same man who promised the whole country he would revoke the 11 laws issued by the previous government?

Who instead used those same laws renamed as State Enterprise Corporatisation Act to sell the Petroleum Authority of Thailand (now PTT Plc) at a bargain price?

Who was also trying to sell the Electricity Generating Authority of Thailand?

Who stands to gain from privatisation? If not the politicians, capitalists and their cronies, then who?

And who are the losers? If not the taxi drivers, motorcycle taxis and grassroots people currently mesmerised by this saint who appears via video-link?

I can’t help but wonder what would it be like if this self-styled god of the poor received an amnesty and returned to the seat of power at the Thai Khu Fah Building (Government House)?

How would that change the face of Thai politics?

- Would the so-called Amartaya Thipatai disappear?

- Would at least three privy councillors resign?

- Would the executive branch become absolutely stable as there’d be little or no opposition?

- The Prime Minister would come from one family and stay for at least 20 years? He would govern the country in CEO-style, as if this were a Thailand Plc? There would be no poor in this country/company in 2010?

All this is probably in the demagogue’s imagination. The question is: Do we share or want to be a part of it?

Earthquake in Italy

This report comes from Adventist Development and Relief Agency

—A deadly earthquake devastated central Italy on Monday, April 6, displacing tens of thousands of people, and killing more than 200 people in the worst earthquake to hit Italy in almost 30 years, according to the latest reports from Reuters. ADRA is monitoring the situation in order to prepare an appropriate response for the early recovery phase of the disaster.

“ADRA is committed to helping those who are suffering in this ongoing tragedy,” said Joerg Fehr, executive director for the ADRA Euro-Africa regional office located in Switzerland. “As relief efforts continue, let us remember to keep those affected by this disaster in our prayers.”

During the initial response to the disaster, the Italian Civil Protection Agency, the Italian police, and the Italian army are on the ground, searching desperately for more survivors in the rubble. When the early recovery phase begins, humanitarian aid agencies will be prepared to provide the aid that is so urgently needed during the recovery stage.

The 6.3 magnitude earthquake struck near the capital city of L’Aquila, in the Abruzzo region at 3:32 a.m., local time, on Monday morning.

Recent reports indicate that the earthquake injured at least 1,500 people, and killed more than 200, many of them in the town of L’Aquila, located approximately 70 miles (110 kilometers) east of Rome, and surrounding towns and villages.

Updates will be released as response efforts expand.

To send your contribution to ADRA’s Emergency Response Fund, please contact ADRA at 1.800.424.ADRA (2372) or give online at www.adra.org.

ADRA is a non-governmental organization present in 125 countries providing sustainable community development and disaster relief without regard to political or religious association, age, gender, race, or ethnicity.

Additional information about ADRA can be found at www.adra.org.

Author: Nadia McGill

Life’s Meaning and Mutual Fund

My wife and I have been trying really hard to save for our retirement.  And the past few months did not really help at all.  It is interesting how we keep planning for the future and it is mostly about the future.  How can we have enough money to keep us through old age.  In a strange way, we do not quite plan for the transition of meaning into old age.  We think that what is meaningful will continue to be meaningful when we grow old.  But things change.  Often productivity is what defined who we are and gives us a sense of meaning in life.  But can it sustain us?  While we invest in mutual funds, I think this is really a great metaphor for the way we need to conceptualize meaning as well.  I was constantly being told to diversify and by good funds. When it comes to meaning as well I think it will be a mistake to invest everything in one stock.  If we assign meaning to one thing, when it changes, we will be in distress unless it only ascends.  But most things in life goes up and down like the stock market.  We may have to learn to diversify our sense of meaning.  We may have to say, I find meaning in my work, family, cats, walk in the nature, friends, food, prayer, games, movies, church, travels, books etc.  If our soul can diversify its source of meaning, we will probably be better off facing the future with all the ups and downs in various areas.  When the friends are few, there are food and cats.  When church is not as sensible, there are books and nature.  Diversification makes it possible to balance life’s meaning in its full reality of pain and gain.