Stars

So I learn this from a movie and often remember when looking at stars in the night.

“Star light, star bright

First star I see tonight

I wish I may

I wish I might

have the wish

I wish tonight”

I have so many wishes but for tonight I pray that life will be kind, that goodness may come to all the people I care about, that children will not go hungry at night, that fearful people will find courage, that voiceless people will be able to speak, that those in poverty will understand that worth is never tight in to currency, that restless souls will find peace and quietness, that mothers will always have strength to care for children, that countries will seek peace instead of domination, that world resouces will find even distribution, that children will know that they are loved, that those who are broken will know that they are not alone, that every tear drop will be heard, that people will learn that life is much bigger than who they are, that there will be more smile and laughter in the world, that mothers will be blessed with more sticky kisses from their children.

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My Second Client

He sits across from me

his hands, shaking

his words, mumbling

his eyes, tearing

He is in his late twenty

but the worn out spirit appears fifty

the soul he carries ages rapidly

the old soul wrapped in the ever unfilled longing

of a child standing by the window wondering

forever wondering

only if some one would tuck him in to bed at night

only if some one would kiss him in the fore head

while he lies in bed

only if some one would say the phrase that he

waited the entire length of his old soul

but the little boy goes to sleep

night after night

no one

no one tucks him in

no one kisses him in the fore head

no one says one little phrase

I figure his hands are shaking

because his heart lacks nourishing

and the child lives on with starved soul

hungering but never filled.

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Insomnia

I have written quite a bit about dreams. But you can’t dream when you can’t sleep. Since young age, sleeping was never easy for me. When I was in kindergarden, we were forced to take a nap during lunch breaks. There was this young guy walking around with a stick and if we did not sleep, he would beat us and he would say, faking sleeping is not acceptable. I remember thinking, if you can’t sleep, you just can’t sleep and how can any one force us to sleep and then spank us if we faked sleeping? Well that was quite a philosophical question. Growing up it has become apart of me. It would normally take me a pretty long time to finally fall asleep. At the least half an hour but mostly more. I would try telling myself, you do not have to fall asleep. You just have to rest. Then there is always the fear that if I did not sleep enough I would not be able to function the following day or that we all need so many hours of sleep and anything less would have such an impact on one’s daily operation. Well, I find out that I can actually function with four hours of sleep. Not too many consequetive days though. I also know that it does run in my family as well. My dad struggled with insomenia as far as I can remember. My sister struggles with insomenia as well. In the past one month or so strange thing happened that worsen my insomnia. I can’t find any explanation. I would go to bed around mid night or one am. Then at two or three am I would get up and remain away till four or five in the morning or some day six am. This quarter is even more of a challenge because I have an eight am class.  Last week I had a bunch of nutrition students in my class so I took the advantage of findingout. But could not gather much information except, try melatonin. I find banana is kind of good to me. Dark chocolates, so I learn it will prevent you from sleeping if you have insomnia. So if I have any craving for chocolate, it will be in the morning or before noon. I suppose the other factor is when you have too manything running in your head, it is hard to quiet the voice enough enough so the mind can rest. I also learn to be productive when one can’t sleep like….ironing my clothes or writing a blog when you are awake. On a site note, it is perhaps the reason why I remember my dreams. I often awaken during ram sleep.

So for those of you out there with insomnia who remain awake in the odd hours of the night, if you know a cure, do share. But perhaps not because if you are cured, you will not be awake in the middle of the night.

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Dreaming of Black Python

Two friends were placing a big python for an exhibit. One was a pastor and the other a Biblical scholar. The Biblical scholar said that he had to be careful because the pathon was trying to attack him. It was something unexpected. Then not long after the python escaped. Many people went out looking for the lost python for fear that it will attack others. There was an opened field and then a place with many hot stoves. We were certain the python was hidding underneath the hot stoves but we could not find him. After a long search the rest gave up but as they were walking away I noticed to my right a trace of the python. I called out to others and one of my cousins went searching in that direction for him. I found myself a big stick and followed. My cousin was able to try to hold on to the big snake with a long stick and I was trying to beat the snake. It was hard and he kept moving. It seems at first that no matter how hard I beat, it did not affect him but eventually it did and i was able to kill the python. After killing the python there was a mixed feeling of whether I should have killed the snake or not and whether I did the right thing.

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Chiang Mai: Photo Journal

Doi Pui, Chiang Mai

The River Restaurant, Chiang Mai

Walking Street, Chiang Mai

Doi Suthep, Chiang Mai

Doi Suthep, Chiang Mai

Doi Suthep, Chiang Mai

A Religious Cat at a Wat, Chaing Mai

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Angels

Angels do come in different shapes and forms and often mingling with every day people in the most ordinary way. The exceptional quality of angels is perhaps the geographical-space-time presence of angels when your souls search and the inaudible voice like aroma of incense rises upward. Perhaps angels themselves are not aware of themselves as angels in others lives. But those who have seen know.

 

 

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เมื่อลืมเป็นจำ

มีเช้า มีบ่าย

มียาย มีหลาน

มีงาน มีงด

มีมด มีช้าง

มีกว้าง มีเสื่อ

มีเรือ มีรถ

มีคต มีตรง

มีงง มีชัด

มีวัด มีบาร์

มีวา มีสอก

มีบอก มีเงียบ

มีเรียบ มียุ่ง

มีนุ่ง มีหลุด

มีหยุด มีไป

 

มีไหมที่ไกล ที่อยู่ต่อหน้า

มีไหมท้องฟ้า ที่อยู่บนดิน

มีไหมความชิน ที่ไม่เคยพบ

มีไหมคนคบ ที่ไม่เคยจำ

มีไหมหนึ่งคำ ที่ไม่มีเสียง

 

ขอเพียงได้เห็นสำเนียงของคำ

ได้จับได้จำคำไว้ในใจ

ให้ไกลเป็นใก้ล

และเงียบเป็นคำ

เพื่อลืมเป็นจำ

เหมือนทำเป็นลืม

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จริง

สักวันฉันต้องหมดลมหายใจ

แต่วันไหนฉันยังไม่รู้

อยู่วันนี้เพียงฉันอยากถาม

ความจริงของฉันคื่ออะไร

ความไกลของสุดปลายใก้ลเข้ามา

เวลาไม่รอกาย

แต่ใจจำต้องเจอ

เพราะจริงอยู่ที่ใจ

ไม่ว่าไกลสักแค่ไหน

ฉันจะไปคว้าเอาดาว

มาแรกกับสิ่งเดียว

ที่จริงอยู่ในใจ

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The Season of the Soul

When the crescent moon

No longer returns to fullness

Even though the earth’s orbit

Follows its course

Stars are hidden behind

Shadows of rain cloud

The eclipse of the sun

Holds the system captive

And what is seen

Is only what it seems

But the people carry on

As if things remain the same

Is what it seems what is seen?

Or what I see is the world

Through the lens of the soul

Searching for time

In timelessness

Where the past is forever

And now is the past

But time moves on

And behind remains behind

The world keeps turning

But the soul remains in the eclipse

Knowing that the sun does shine

The crescent moon always returns to fullness

Because seasons are seasons

Only if the soul understands

Spring does come

And for now Fall will remain

The season of the soul

Has its own time

Where now is the past

And the past seems forever

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ผ่าน

หนึ่งอาทิตย์ผ่าน

ดูนานเป็นปีๆ

ความดีคงอยู

ความจำไม่จาง

บนทางที่เคยเดิน

ในใจที่จดจำ

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